A Tale That Wasn't Right: The Funeral
by Ryan T. Nelson
Summary: Continuation of Axels Terizakis, A Tale That Wasn't Right. Chapter four is finally up. The Final messenger has arrived
1. The Funeral

Authors notes: OK peeps. This fic is based on a dark fic written by the wonderful Axel Terizaki. I loved that fic. It was called A Tale That Wasn't Right. In it Asuka is affected differently by the fifteenth angel. She is infected by it and it starts to change her into an angel. Asuka is eventually re-classified as the 16th angel.  
  
Sucks shit don't it? Anyway, of course Shinji refuses to destroy Asuka when she leaves NERV in Unit02. When her Evas activation time runs out he pulls her into his entry plug and he walks off into a nearby forest with her.  
  
They hide from NERV and that night make love in the woods. The next morning Asuka is gone and Shinji finds her standing on the edge of a cliff. A brief conversation ensues. At the end of which Asuka throws herself from the cliff, wanting to die while she is still somewhat of a human being.  
  
Misato barely restrains a heartbroken Shinji from following his love over the cliff. Get your box of tissues ready. I don't mean to brag but I have found that I am VERY good at writing the emotions that just make you want to break down and cry at the hopelessness of the situation. I will continue this epic story where Axel left off. At the same time I will do my best to keep up with the spirit of Axel Terizaki.   
  
Ladies and gentlemen.... I give you...  
  
A Tale That Wasn't Right.  
The Funeral.  
  
  
Shinji Ikari looked out over the cemetery. It was a bright sunny day in Tokyo-3. He could feel the sun beating down on his head and shoulders. Birds could be heard chirping in the trees, a dog was heard barking somewhere in the distance and the laughter of children rang out from a nearby park.  
  
He was disgusted by it. How could the world keep going on like this when his precious love, his Asuka, was dead. The funeral had been over for several hours, and Shinji had not moved from his spot in front of Asukas grave.  
  
Even during the service he had not sat with the rest of the mourners. He had stood right there, and anyone who tried to ask him to move found themselves the target of a furious glare the likes of which even Asuka had never achieved.  
  
He did not even notice the service itself. He was too preoccupied with his last memory of her. In his minds eye he could see her standing on those cliffs, the ocean behind her, her long red hair blowing in the slight breeze. He could smell the salt from the ocean, the scents of the forest behind him and the slight scent of her as it drifted towards him on the wind.  
  
He could hear the waves crashing on the rocks below, a gull in the sky and her last words before she flung herself backward off of the cliff. "I'm sorry Shinji but I have to do it. I don't want you to have to kill me, and... most of all, I want to die while I'm still a human being... farewell, 'Shin-chan'... I loved you too..."  
  
His father, of course, had not been at the service. Shinji's thoughts began to wander and he remembered that moment three days ago when he and Misato had returned from the cliffs upon which his love had left him.  
  
____________________  
  
"Good work Shinji." Gendo said as his son entered the command deck. "The enemy is dead. I see you have finally, 'urk'!" The rest of the commanders sentence was cut short as Shinji rushed him and slammed his elbow into the mans throat.  
  
He pinned the man to the wall and glared at him in anger. Gendos glasses had fallen off of his face in the brief flurry of motion and Shinji found himself staring at a face that was almost a mirror of his own.  
  
Same blue eyes, high cheekbones, strong squared off chin. But the resemblance stopped there. When Shinji spoke his voice came out as a hissing whisper that sent shivers down the spine of all who heard it.  
  
"I did not kill her, and she was NOT our enemy." he hissed. "She sacrificed herself for me and because she chose to die on her own terms! If I EVER hear you refer to her in any way other than one of respect I will personally take great pleasure in killing you." Suddenly Shinji brought one fist back and smashed it into that hated face.  
  
The commander was thrown to the ground by the force of the blow, and as he fell his head struck a corner of one of the instrument panels. Then he fell the rest of the wat to the floor, and there he remained, unconscious. Shinji walked over to one of the technicians.  
  
"How quickly can we have a dive crew at the cliffs?" he asked  
  
"Ahh, fifteen minutes or so."  
  
"Good, do it. I want her body found." He turned to Misato. "Any objections?"  
  
"No. I quite agree with you." she said. She looked at him for a moment taking in his wild appearance. Tired, lifeless eyes. Torn, and dirty plugsuit. Finally her gaze came to rest on his haggard and drawn face. "Shinji why don't you go home? I'll take care of all the necessary arrangements."  
  
____________________  
  
Shinji came back to reality to find that the sun was setting behind him. The warm glow suffused the black marker before him with its radiance. He once again read the inscription that Misato had had placed on it.  
  
Asuka Langley Sohryu  
2001-2015  
  
She gave her life for the sake of humanity.  
She gave her love to the man that owned her heart.  
We will miss you always, our dear Asuka.  
May you find the piece in death, that we could not give you in life.  
  
Slowly Shinji sank to his knees, finally allowing himself to cry for the first time since that day on the cliffs. He fell onto his face on the cool grass next to her grave and curled up into the fetal position. The birds had fallen silent, listening to his wails.  
  
He cried out his pain, and torment to the uncaring sky above. His cries were felt by all who heard them. They reached deep into the human soul where they touched upon that center of empathy and understanding. Then they wrenched at it leaving all who heard with a sense of longing, and loss, the likes of which they would never be able to comprehend.  
  
His pain was not a pain of the body, or a pain of the heart. This pain, his pain, was a pain of the soul. His one true love was ripped from his grasp. She died before she could become that which she had gone through so much to fight.  
  
Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. Eventually his screams ceased but he spent several minutes sobbing on the ground. Finally, after several minutes, he dragged his weakened body towards her marker and pressed his lip against it in one final parting kiss for his beloved.  
  
In the midst of his pain, one thought echoed in his mind. She didn't seem scared. When she threw herself from the cliffs she seemed almost... at peace... with her decision.  
  
Then he rose to his feet and began the long walk home. Home, to Misato and Pen-Pen. But it was not REALLY home without... Asuka.  
  
End  
  
All right, hope it was sufficiently sad enough for all of you. I'm sorry about that last part when he kissed Asukas tombstone, I was crying a little myself. Anyway, I had to start this off with a bang. I felt that getting a heart wrenching last moment in there would be just the thing to gain Axel's approval. (Psst, hey. Do you think it worked?)  
  
  
I know, I didn't exactly keep with the spirit of Axel, which is to say that their were no instances of insane rambling on the part of the author in that entire fic. However due to the serious nature of the fic I thought it would be best if I kept to a more serious tone.  
OK right now I do NOT know what I will do for the next part but I will tell you this, I will go into how Shinji is trying to live without Asuka. I think I may actually take this fic all the way up to Third Impact. Maybe after he aborts it Shinji awakes on the beach to find himself reunited with Asuka. That might be a good idea.  
  
Then again I might leave this as a stand alone fic. It all depends on your reviews. Let me know. Do you want me to leave it as it is? Or should I try my hand at it again? Hoping against hope that this brief flurry of emotional force that went into the making of this fic will still be with me for the second chapter.  
  
Please review. I need the feed back. And for every review that I get it will only help me get better at writing. So the next dark fic I write will be twice as depressing as this one was. Also I WILL except flames with relish.  
  
I hereby issue a challenge. All flame's can send there review's directly to me through an email. I will respond to your mail within two days time if I am able with a response for you depending on what your gripe is with the fic. The challenge is t find a problem with the fic that I CAN NOT explain. Let all who dare take up the sword and write to me.  
  
Any comments and criticism is welcome I can be reached at shinjikatsuragi@hotmail.com Neongenisis51857@compuserve.com Just write up the subject of the E-mail as A Tale That Wasn't Right so I don't accidentally delete it. Thank you.  
  
A Tale That Wasn't Right  
The Funeral  
  
Written by  
Ryan T. Nelson  
  
  
Until next time...  
See You On The Other Side.  



	2. Crumbling Sanity

Authors notes: OK this has the possibility of becoming a series dark fic. This fic was based on a fic written by Axel Terizaki called A Tale That Wasn't Right. I LOVED that story. I have a certain… morbid curiosity concerning death and killing, so a little darkness bothers me about as much as WAFF bothers a normal human. 

This is Part Two of my continuation of Axels fic. The first part was titled A Tale That Wasn't Right, The Funeral. It takes place after Asukas funeral and gives a little glimpse into Shinji's feelings at that time. Today we will go a little bit into Shinjis life as it is now without Asuka.

Rest assured that it will be VERY depressing. *Laughs maniacally* Just ignore the crazy author. He won't bite. Unless of course you want him to. (Author just realizes WHAT EXACTLY he wrote and slaps himself repeatedly.) 

Dedicated to: cali_ice, who reviewed my fic and claimed that it was the first worthwhile angst fic s/he had seen in a long time. Thank you cali_ice. I hope this lives up to your expectations.

All right I won't keep you in suspense any longer but I must say one more thing. I have noticed that I never put the disclaimer at the beginning of my fics so I would like to take this time to say that I do NOT own Eva or any of it's characters.

*Ducks various flying objects from the crowd who is anxious to read the fic*

FINE!!! Here it is. *Grumbles a bit about writers not getting any respect anymore until a few stray steel ball bearings strike him in the head, knocking him out cold* (I did say VARIOUS flying objects)

On with the fic 

A Tale That Wasn't Right

Crumbling Sanity

________________________________________________________________________

            "Tadiama!" Shinji called out as he entered the apartment. He slowly dragged himself into the living room and dropped onto the couch, not even bothering to turn on any lights as he did so.

            Down the hall, he heard a door slide open, and a rectangular beam of light appeared on the wall. The light was momentarily blocked by a human body, then disappeared altogether as the door slid shut again. Soft footsteps were heard and then Misato Katsuragi appeared before him.

            She was still wearing the black dress she had worn at the funeral. Her eyes were tired and blood shot as she sat down on the couch next to him. The apartment was filled with an oppressive silence for a few minutes before Shinji spoke.

            "I said good-bye to her Misato-san." His voice was filled with sadness, and what appeared to be a strange mix of anger. Suddenly he seemed to explode. Blood rushed to his face as he began to scream in anger.

            "Why did she do it?!!!!" he screamed. "I loved her so much!"  he sprang to his feet and stood before the startled Major. At the beginning of his outburst she had been stunned into silence. "She didn't have to do that! She died for nothing. NOTHING! We could have saved her! We… could… have.. saved… her." His voice trailed off and he collapsed into sobs again. He fell forwards, into Misatos arms and she gently held the poor boy as he cried for all he was worth.

            After several minutes he slowly got his sobs under control and he stopped crying. Misato gently pulled him away from her and looked at him for a moment.

            "Sorry Shinji." A puzzled expression spread over his face as he tried to figure out what she meant. Suddenly he was thrown to the ground as she slapped him as hard as she could. He crumpled to the floor and stayed there, one hand clutching his burning cheek.

            Misato stood above him seething with anger. "Yes, I know that you loved her, and she loved you too. But you have to understand that she was an ANGEL. She wanted to die on her own terms. If allowed to continue changing she knew that either you or Ayanami would have had to kill her." Misatos voice was hard and edged with steel.

            "She didn't want that to happen. Especially because she knew what it would do to you if YOU had to kill her. So she did it herself. She did not die for nothing." Her voice began to soften. "She died for you Shinji-kun. She died because she knew that her death then would be less painful than her death later." She crouched down and gathered him into her arms.

            The emotions swelled within them and soon both were crying for the loss of one so dear, and so close to their hearts. They spent the remainder of the night that way, sobbing softly against each other until they slowly drifted off to sleep.

____________________

            Across town another person was crying that night. Hikari Horaki was sobbing quietly in bed. Her bedroom was cast in darkness the only light coming from the moon beaming through her open window.

            She had been at the funeral. She had also seen how sad Shinji had looked. She knew him to be a fairly depressed individual at the best of times and she was worried about his continued mental health.

            Brief thoughts of him following Asuka on a suicide attempt flashed through her mind and she shuddered visibly. She rolled over onto her other side and eventually cried herself to sleep.

____________________

            Deep beneath the earth, in a darkened room Gendo Ikari sat, and waited. Suddenly twelve great monoliths appeared in a flash of light. The words SEELE 01 through 12 were written on them and beneath each number were the words SOUND ONLY. SEELE 01 started the discussion.

            _"The Second Child is Dead Ikari! What do you have to say for yourself?" Gendo Ikari was silent for a few moments before he spoke._

            "This does not interfere with the scenario. The seconds death is nothing but an… inconvenience."

            _"It is more than an 'inconvenience' as you put it. It is a hindrance to our plans." SEELE 03 yelled out. __"The second was meant to survive the encounter with the 15th angel."_

            "And she did survive that encounter." Gendo remarked his tone as cold and emotionless as ever. "How ever from that point on the scrolls mention nothing of her. The 16th will have be defeated by Rei-"

            _"You told us that she WAS the 16th!" Gendo turned his head slightly to face SEELE 01._

            "I was incorrect. She was not the 16th. She died before the changes could be completed. Her transformation itself was not a part of the scenario, but this does not change anything."

            "When the 16th arrives Rei will defeat it. Then Shinji will destroy the 17th angel."

            There was silence for a few moments then SEELE 01 spoke again.

            _"The rest of this meeting is none of your concern Ikari." With that the twelve monoliths vanished, casting the room back into darkness. Gendo continued to sit in the dark, while he considered the possible delays in his scenario due to the Seconds death._

            After a few minutes he rose and swiftly walked from the room, to destinations unknown.

____________________

            Shinji Ikari slowly woke to see beams of sunlight streaming in through a window. He blinked a few times while he attempted to figure out where he was. Upon sitting up he discovered that he was on the couch in the living room. A glance behind him confirmed that Misato was there too, curled up on the other end of the couch. 

            He had a vague recollection of waking up in the middle of the night and moving away form Misato. Now he rose and unsteadily made his way towards his bedroom so he could change clothes. Once that task had been completed he moved on to making breakfast.

            As the smells of breakfast cooking filled the house Misatos eyes slowly fluttered open. She winced at the bright light streaming through the window and closed her eyes again. After several minutes she was able to force her eyes open and she dragged herself into the kitchen.

            She stumbled up to the table and dropped heavily into a chair. A sound in front of her caught her attention. She opened her eyes to see a can of beer sitting before her. After casting a grateful look in Shinjis direction she opened the beer and chugged the whole thing.

            But this morning she did not let out her characteristic whoop after finishing the beer. She was still too depressed because of Asuka to get any pleasure out of her beer anymore. She looked up as Shinji started to hand her another beer and waved him away.

            He cast her a questioning glance as she rose from her chair to get a cup of coffee. Their eyes met and Shinji nodded his approval before turning back to his cooking.

            "I've come to a decision Misato." he said She looked up at him over the rim of her cup from her place back at the table. He turned to look at her. "I love Asuka, now more than ever. I have decided to keep piloting, even though it is because of that damn thing that she died." His eyes were moist with repressed tears, and his voice was thick with emotion.

            "I will continue to pilot because she wouldn't have wanted me to quit."

            "Shinji. From what I've been able to figure out we have two angels left. That is the end. There are only supposed to be seventeen of them. When this is over, we'll leave here. We'll go away and start a new life some where else."

            Shinji shook his head violently.

            "No Misato. I won't leave. I can't ever leave this city. Asuka is buried here, and I won't leave her." Misato looked thoughtfully at him for a minute, judging the conviction in his words.

            "OK Shinji. We'll stay."

____________________

            Rei Ayanami was confused. She is laying face down on her bed, her chin resting on her arms, which are folded in front of her. She has been in that position for quite some time thinking over the last few days.

            What do I feel? she wonders. I am… upset about pilot Sohryus' death. But why am I upset? She knew the risks. There is always the possibility that one of us may die at any time. Rei  continues to consider her emotions as she gazes at the wall in front of her.

            After the many hours that she has spent contemplating her jumbled feelings she decides to ask the one person who might be able to help her. With this goal in mind she rises from her bed and leaves her apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind her.

____________________

            "I'll get it." Shinji says as the doorbell rings. He rises from his seat at the table and walks over to the front door. He opens it and is startled to find Kensuke standing on the other side of the door.

            "Hey Shinji." Kensuke said in a cheerful tone of voice. Shinjis expression darkens at the tone in his friends' voice. How can he be in such a good mood after all that has happened.

            "Well you sure seem to be in a good mood." Shinji spat in disgust. Kensukes cheerful smile vanishes and is replaced with a grim frown.

            "Sorry man. I know this is a tough time for you. That's why I came down here today. You can't brood about this. I'm upset too but I couldn't let you get too depressed I know you, so I put on the cheerful face to try and come cheer you up."

            "Thank you Kensuke. But you don't have to worry about me. I'm not gonna try to follow Asuka." Shinji saw the guilty look on Kensukes face. "You thought I was going to try and kill myself?" he asked incredulously. 

            Kensuke sheepishly nodded. Shinji fumed for a minute about that and then noticed that he had left Kensuke standing in the hall.

            "Have you eaten yet?" Shinji asked. Kensuke shook his head silently his face still holding the guilty flush that had crept into his cheeks at being caught. "Well come on in. I have breakfast ready if you would like some."

            "Thanks Shinji." He stepped inside and followed Shinji down the hallway into the kitchen. Kensuke came to an abrupt halt as his eyes landed on the scantily dressed Major sitting at the table calmly eating her breakfast. His hand flew to his face to try and stop his nosebleed.

            "Oh hi Kensuke." Misato said when she noticed him. Then a worried frown crossed her face. "Are you all right?" He nodded and stumbled into a chair where Shinji had all ready set a plate of food.

            Soon Kensuke had his nosebleed under control and just as they started to resume eating the doorbell rang again. Shinji sighed in irritation as he once again rose to answer the door. He opened it to find Hikari, and Touji waiting patiently.

            "Hey Shinji." Touji said from his wheel chair. He made no attempt to sound cheerful. Hikari looked very nervous standing next to Toujis' chair.

            "Good morning Ikari-kun." She mumbled.

            "What are you guy's doing here?" Shinji asked. "Better yet, how did you get out of the hospital Touji?" Shinji felt a slight pang of guilt as he stepped around to push Toujis chair into the apartment. Hikari followed close behind.

            Once inside they all sat in an uncomfortable silence. Kensuke was watching Shinji. Shinji as staring at Toujis chair. Hikari was watching Shinji, Touji was watching Shinji, Misato was watching Shinji. Pen-Pen… He was still asleep in his fridge. 

            Suddenly Shinji became aware of all the staring eyes. He looks around at them.

            "What?" he shouts. They all look at each other and finally Hikari speaks.

            "We're all worried about you Shinji. We know how depressed you can get…" Her voice trails off as she sees the look of anger that comes over his face.

            "Damn it! Is every body convinced that I'm going to try to kill myself?" Shinji yells. Every one shrinks back slightly at the outburst and then in an almost frightening mimicking of Asuka and Shinji synch training days they all nod their heads.

            Shinji sit back dumbfounded, He opens his mouth to speak but is cut off as the doorbell rings yet again. By now thoroughly annoyed Shinji stalks over to the door and violently stabs the button to open it with his finger.

            He opens his mouth to snap a retort at whoever is there but his anger fades away as he sees Rei standing there calmly looking at him.

            "Pilot Ikari I would wish to speak with you." she says in her small monotone. All Shinji can do is nod as he steps aside to let her pass. She walks by him and into the apartment, waiting for him to close the door before continuing.

            Once they are all at the kitchen table silence reigns over the apartment yet again until finally _Rei decides to speak up._

            "Ikari I wish to speak with you." She said again

            "What about, Ayanami?" Shinji is obviously curious, his earlier anger gone.

            "I believe that I am upset about the death of the second." Shinji gaped at her a moment before regaining his composure.

            "That is a normal response Rei. When some one close to you has died then it is natural to feel upset about it."

            "I also feel something else that I can not explain." Rei said a frown crossing her usually blank face. "I think I am worried about you….. Ikari-Kun." The words feel strange in her mouth and she wonders if that was the right thing to say.

            "W.. w.. what do you mean Rei?" Shinji stammered, though he all ready had a glimmer of what she was thinking.

            "I am not sure." Rei said. "I just seem to feel that you might hurt yourself." During the conversation the other occupants in the room had remained silent but hearing Rei express the same concern for Shinji that they had was just too much.

            They all burst out laughing. Hikari was hanging on Kensukes' arm. Touji was almost falling out of his wheel chair; Misato DID fall out of her chair landing on the floor with a thump where she continued to laugh while rolling around on the carpet.

            Rei had a confused expression on her face, while Shinjis face steadily darkened in anger. Finally after several minutes of listening to them all laughing he exploded in rage.

            "Why is this funny to all of you?!!" he screamed slamming his palm down on the table so hard that Misatos' beer fell off the edge onto the floor. "Why can't you figure it out? I am not going to kill myself!!!!"

            They continued to laugh and Shinji spun on his heel stalking to the front door. The laughter inside masked the sounds of the door closing. Rei continued to sit there, looking at all of them with a bemused expression, then she too rose and left the apartment.

            Pen-Pen opened the door to his fridge and looked out at the laughing humans.

            "Wwwaaarrk?"

____________________

            Out on the street Shinji is rapidly stomping away from the apartment complex mumbling to himself. Rei followed at a discreet distance. She was still trying to figure out what it is she felt for Shinji and she was determined to find out.

            After several minutes Shinji found himself quite a ways from the apartment and he noticed that he was not too far from Asukas cemetery. Even though she had only been buried the day before he decided to go visit her.

            He walked purposefully towards the cemetery. Once there he stood before Asuka grave for a few minutes in thought. Finally he just started talking to her.

            "Hello Asuka." He said. "I know I was here yesterday but I had to come again. It's only been four days but I miss you." Shinjis voice was thick and as he spoke his eyes filled with tears. "No body has any faith in me anymore. They all think I'm going to kill myself. Misato, Hikari, Kensuke, Touji. Hell even Rei showed up at the apartment saying that she was worried that I would hurt myself!"

            "I can't do this Asuka! I tell them that I am going to live on for you but I know that I won't be able to for very much longer." The tears were now streaming openly down his cheeks and Shinji was sick of it. Since the funeral he had all ready cried for hours and it felt as if he would never stop crying.

            Suddenly he became aware of a presence behind him. Without even turning he knew who it was. "What do you want Rei?" he asked.

            "I want to understand what I am feeling." Shinji laughed a harsh, quick retort.

            "You want to understand what you are feeling Rei?" he said. Shinjis was overcome with a rage he had never known. "Rei! You are feeling remorse at the loss of a teammate. Nothing more." He turned to look at her impassive expression.

            His eyes narrowed as he carefully studied every detail of her face. "You know what Rei? I think Asuka was right. You really are a doll." The shock was clearly visible on her face for a moment before she slid back into her expressionless mask.

            "I am not a doll." She said. "And I do not feel remorse at her loss. I think I am worried about you and your hurt at losing her." Shinji considered her words for a minute before speaking again.

            "What are you trying to say Rei?" he asked. Rei cocked her head to one side and looked at him for a minute

"I believe I am trying to say that I care about you." Surprisingly Shinji took this news rather well. Which is to say he didn't immediately start stuttering in embarrassment. 

"I can't love you Rei." Shinji said, his voice heavy with sadness. "I can't do that. I love her too much. Even after she is gone I love her more than anything else in my life." Rei stepped forward and placed one hand on his arm.

"I did not say that I loved you…. Shinji." Saying his first name felt odd to her, but she sensed that it was the right thing to do. "I am saying that I care for you. I do not want to see you hurt. Her death has hurt you, and I want to help."

Shinji looked deeply into her red eyes with his blue ones. His eyes were dead and lifeless. Gone from them was the fire of anger he had felt earlier. And when he spoke it was as if he was bearing some great burden on his shoulders.

"You can't help Rei." he whispered. "No one can help. Please leave me alone." He turned away from her and stared down at Asukas grave. After several minutes Rei tore her eyes away from the grieving boy and left without a word.

____________________

            "Shinji." Asuka whispers. She is standing next to her grave, watching as the boy weeps before her. Rei had been gone for several minutes now. Asuka had awoken the day of the funeral in this….. place.

            It looked like she was still apart of the world at large, but she found that she was unable to move more than ten feet from her grave, and no one could hear her when she spoke.

            She had cried as well when Shinji had collapsed before her grave, kissing the grave marker before turning and walking away.

            "Why am I here?" she asked for what must have been the thousandth time since she had woken up. And for the thousandth time, no answer was forthcoming. She looked up as she saw Shinji slowly turn and walk away from the grave.

            "Goodbye Shinji." She said, knowing that he could not hear her, but feeling that she had to say something. She continued to watch as he slowly disappeared over a hill in the cemetery. Seconds after he vanished from view a boy approached her grave.

            Asuka was sitting on top of the marker so when he looked at it, it almost seemed as if he was looking right at her. Her legs were crossed dangling down in front of the marker. She took a moment to study this boy, whom she had never seen before.

            Thin, pale skin, like Ayanami. A surprisingly messy shock of gray hair, and eyes as red as Rei's. He stood staring at the grave marker for several minutes before finally, he spoke.

            "Excuse me, could you move your leg?" Asuka looked around for a moment then back at the boy standing before her. "Miss. Langley, could you please move your leg." He said again, his voice soft and warm. "I would like to read the inscription."

            Dumbfounded Asuka jumped off of the marker to the ground and watched as he silently read the inscription. "Beautiful." He said, then turned to face Asuka.

            "You can see me?" she asked. He smiled at her and nodded his head once. He held out his hand to her.

            "My name is Kaoru, Kaoru Nagisa. And you, Miss. Langley, are dead." She paused in the act of reaching out to him. Her eyes narrowed, and her yellow sundress fluttered in the breeze.

            "Who the hell are you?" she asked as he took her hand in a firm handshake.

            "I am your guide, and I am the 17th angel."

____________________

            Several hours have passed since Shinji stormed out of the Katsuragi household, and since then the laughter has long ceased. The group assembled discussed the situation for an hour or so before lapsing into an uneasy silence.

            Shinji enters the apartment to find them all strewn about the main room. Hikari and Kensuke are both sitting on the floor near the TV which is turned off. Touji is sitting in the space between the kitchen and the living room in his wheel chair.

            Misato was not to be seen. Shinji stepped into the living room from the hallway and found her sprawled out on the couch sound asleep. He raised one eyebrow questioningly.

            "She finished her twentieth beer about ten minutes after you left and passed out about twenty minutes later." Hikari said by way of explanation.

            "Oh." Shinji swept his gaze around the room meeting all of their eyes. "I want you guys to know that I have no intention of killing myself. Asuka would want me to go on living and I intend to. She would be disgusted with me if I gave up now."

            "I believe you Shinji." Touji said. "But I wasn't entirely worried about you trying to kill yourself. I was also worried about you as a friend." Touji pushed himself forward a little leaning forward in his chair. "We all know how much you loved her. We saw you at the funeral." Shinji blinked in surprise.

            "You were there?" he asked. "I didn't see you."

            "We thought it would be best not to disturb you." Kensuke said. "You didn't look very good and we didn't think you would want to talk at the time." Shinji nodded his head.

            "You're right. I wasn't in a very good frame of mind at the time. You were also right about Asuka. I loved her very much. I still can't believe that she is gone but I have to except it I guess."

            The conversation continued for a few more hours as they all recounted memories of Asuka Langley Sohryu. They laughed when they thought of their meeting on the deck of the Over The Rainbow, and the memory of Toujis red face after she had slapped him.

            Soon though it began to get late and everyone left. On his way out the door Touji stopped and looked back at Shinji.

            "Don't think about it man." He said. "If you start to think that you could have 

done something to save her, it will eat you alive from the inside out. Trust me on this. I've been through it with my sister."

            Shinji nodded once. Then Touji was gone, and the door hissed shut behind him. Shinji stood for several minutes staring at the door. Then he sighed and turned back to the living room. Misato was still asleep. She had not stirred once throughout the entire conversation they had had.

            Shinji decided to get some sleep. He went down the hall to his room and slipped into bed, not bothering to change his clothes. He was too tired. He reached out for his SDAT player and put the earphones into his ear.

            The music started, but tonight he found no solace in the calming melodies on his tape. Finally he sighed and got out of bed. Like he had for the last three days he walked out of his room and down the hall to Asukas room.

            He opened the door and went inside to lay down on her bed. This place that had been so important to her, brought him some comfort. He pulled in on himself until he was in the fetal position and as the music poured into his ears he cried himself to sleep.

End

Authors notes: Like I said this chapter is a little bit about how Shinji is coping with losing Asuka. Rest assured that in the next chapter there will be more Shinji/Rei interaction. For those of you who are hoping out there I must say sorry but this will NOT become a Shinji/Rei fic.

In the next Chapter: the death and rebirth of Rei Ayanami, with the attack of the sixteenth angel. More about Asuka will be revealed. Shinji discovers the horrifying truth behind Rei. What will this revelation do to his already shattered mind?

All questions, comments, and flames should be sent to me at neongenisis51857@compuserve.com

Until next time….

See you on the other side.

A Tale That Wasn't Right: Crumbling Sanity

Written by…

Ryan T. Nelson

I would like to thank my pre-readers

Réka Marosi (thank you. Szeretlek Angylom.)

NanuNanu14 (This guy was a help with the story, he's pretty good. However after listening to him I decided NOT to use his suggestion. Sorry man I just thought that Hikari was kinda needed there. I mean she was in the city at the time ^_^)

None of my other pre-readers responded at all. Any one who would like to pre-read for me should contact me as soon as possible. Thank you.


	3. Death and RebirthA Terrifying Revelation

Authors notes: All right here we have the long awaited (not really) third chapter to my continuation of Axel Terizakis A Tale That Wasn't Right. This chapter is pretty self-explanatory from the title. Death and Rebirth/A Terrifying Revelation. In case you don't know I will take a moment to explain.  
  
*author raises a battered metal shield as he looks at the audience before him in fear*  
  
In this chapter Rei dies and is reborn as ReiIII. That is the death and rebirth part. The Terrifying revelation is Shinji learning of Rei's horrible origins.  
  
If you were paying attention during the last chapter then you noticed that Asuka is still around, in one form or another. There will be more with her in this chapter as well.  
  
Now for the disclaimer…. *Ducks and raises his shield as several, heavy objects are thrown at him* I do not own anything pertaining to Eva. *A high- heeled shoe slips under his guard and breaks the authors nose*  
  
On with the show……  
  
1 A Tale That Wasn't Right  
  
2 Death and Rebirth/A Terrifying Revelation: Part One  
  
____________________  
  
It has been two weeks since the funeral. Shinji Ikari is not feeling any better as he sits on the couch in the living room, his SDAT blaring music into his ears. His eyes are distant as he stares ahead listlessly. He has lost all interest in anything that once held any meaning for him.  
  
He can now be seen carrying his SDAT player around with him everywhere  
  
he goes. On more than one occasion he had absentmindedly tried to take it into the entry  
  
plug with him for during synch tests. Ritsuko had stopped him when she noticed it.  
  
He briefly thought of all the tests that he had gone through in the last two weeks. Ritsuko had run extensive tests on him to try and find out if his intimate encounter with Asuka while she had been partly possessed by an angel had done anything to him.  
  
He almost wished that it had. If he started to change then he wouldn't feel guilty about taking his own life as well. He glanced down at the cold glittering metal sitting in his lap.  
  
"They say time heals all wounds." He whispered to the empty apartment. "I don't think time will ever heal this one." He stood and slowly walked out of the apartment to go for a walk around the city.  
  
As the door to the apartment slid closed the knife slipped off the edge of the couch and fell to the floor with a thump, the cold metal reflecting the soft light coming through the window.  
  
____________________  
  
"How is he?" Ritsuko asked. Misato looked up at her from across the table. The two women were sitting in the NERV cafeteria eating lunch. Well actually only Ritsuko was eating; Misato found that she just couldn't stomach much of anything these days.  
  
"Terrible." She answered. "He cries every night." Her voice was heavy with her sorrow. "I can hear him through the walls. He screams her name and I can hear him crying desperately for her to come back to him."  
  
"Do you ever try to comfort him?" Ritsuko asked. Misato silently shook her head. "Why not!?" Ritsuko was shocked. She knew how much Misato cared for Shinji but here she was telling her that she let him suffer alone.  
  
"I tried the first night." Misato said. "I ran to his room and sat down on his bed next to him as he cried. I tried to hold him but he wouldn't let me. He started to struggle." Misato unconsciously put one hand to her right cheek. "He hit me." She whispered. "He screamed at me to leave him alone and then he slapped me."  
  
Ritsuko blinked in shock as she tried to imagine Shinji hitting another person. She couldn't do it.  
  
"He said he was angry that I stopped him at the cliffs. Things would have been better if I hadn't stopped him."  
  
"Misato if you had not stopped him from jumping off those cliffs then we could all die the next time an angel attacks." Ritsuko said hoping to jar her friend back to reality. "You were right to stop him. I don't blame him though. He is hurting. You can't take what he says seriously, eventually he will calm down." She stood and stepped away from the table.  
  
"Just give him some time Misato." She turned and started to walk away. "Time heals all wounds." She said over her shoulder. Misato simply nodded as the blond woman walked away from her, lost in her own contemplation, and inner turmoil.  
  
____________________  
  
Shinji had come to a decision. He needed something. He needed something to remind him of her when he wasn't able to visit her grave. He had come to this decision several days ago but had been unable to think of anything that would bring him this peace of mind. There was nothing that he could think of to express his love and devotion for her, even after her death, that he could keep with him.  
  
Today he was wandering the streets of Tokyo-3. He was not going anywhere really, just wandering aimlessly, when he passed a shop. A sign above the door caught his eye and he turned to read it. Realization dawned on him, and he hurried inside the shop to make a purchase.  
  
He went inside and spoke to a man behind the counter. After a few minutes of conversation he looked down inside the case and pointed at an object. The man smiled, bent down and removed the object that Shinji had indicated.  
  
Shinji paid for it with his NERV card, emptying his account in the process. Then he pocketed the purchase and walked out the door. He reached into his pocket for his phone and dialed a number.  
  
The phone rang three times and Misato picked up.  
  
/Misato here./  
  
"Misato it's Shinji. I need you to do me a favor."  
  
/What kind of favor is that Shinji?/  
  
"Get a hold of two section 2 agents. I want to set up a guard at Asukas' grave. 24 hours a day. Two agents there at all times. Come down to the cemetery right now. Can you do that Misato?" By the tone in his voice Misato could tell that it was more of an order than a request. But she was curious to see what he wanted with a guard.  
  
/Sure I can set that up. Two agents there at all times./  
  
/Click/  
  
____________________  
  
Misato held the phone away from her ear and looked at it, an expression of shock spread all over her face.  
  
"Did he just….." She put the phone back to her ear and listened for a moment. "He just hung up on me." Misato growled and slammed the phone back on the cradle. She glared at it for a moment before remembering her promise to Shinji.  
  
So she snatched up the phone and started making the arrangements.  
  
____________________  
  
When Misato and the Section 2 agents arrived at the cemetery Shinji was already there, waiting for them. He was sitting on the ground in front of Asukas grave his legs crossed Indian style.  
  
"Well Shinji, we're here. What is it you wanted these guys for?" Misato asked as she approached him. The blank, expressionless look on the boys' face did not falter at the sound of her voice. Nor did he seem to acknowledge that he even heard her.  
  
Several minutes pass in silence and just as Misato is about to ask her question again Shinji speaks.  
  
"I need something Misato." He said, his voice heavy with sorrow and a deep regret. He looked up from the black five-foot black obsidian slab that marked the resting place of his beloved. His eyes were dead, no longer holding any emotion at all. His once warm blue eyes were now as cold as ice, and their color was reminiscent of the deepest oceans.  
  
That is how Misato felt as she stood there gazing into his eyes, as if she were sinking into a bottomless pool and she had no way to save herself.  
  
"I need something to show how much I love her. Even now after she is gone." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. He opened it, and inside sat two brightly shining wedding bands.  
  
They were very unusual bands. Plan, with small vine like etchings around them. The design was so thin and delicate as to be almost invisible. They appeared to be made out of silver. But upon closer inspection Misato could tell that the metal was not silver despite its' color.  
  
"This is going to show my love for her." With that Shinji rose to his feet and walked towards the grave. He stopped beside the marker and removed the smaller of the two rings from the box. Kneeling he placed the ring on the small ledge created by the bottom of the marker.  
  
Rising to his feet he stepped around in front of the marker and looked down at the other ring that was still in the box in his hands. Misato stepped closer to him standing a few feet behind and to his right.  
  
"Do you know why people wear wedding rings Misato."  
  
"No Shinji. I don't know why."  
  
"It is symbolic. The circular band represents eternity. It has no beginning and no end. It is a symbol of the love shared between two people. Unbreaking and unwavering. Do you know what metal I had these rings made out of?"  
  
Misato remained silent.  
  
"They are made out of Titanium Misato. One of the strongest metal alloys' known to man. I got them this way as another symbol." He turned and faced Misato, tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke. "These bands are a symbol of my love for her. Humans are fragile creatures Misato. They break easily."  
  
"This ring will still exist long after its wearer is gone from this earth." He pulled the second ring out of the box and slipped it on the fourth finger of his left hand. "I will never take this ring off Misato. I want everyone to know that I still love her, even in death she will be the only one I will ever love."  
  
"And when I die, I will be buried wearing this ring." He stood up straight and squared his shoulders. "Misato I asked for you to arrange to have the guard placed here because I am leaving Asukas ring here. This is a public cemetery however so the guard is to make sure no one disturbs it."  
  
Misato nodded with a dumbfounded expression on her face. With her acknowledgment of his wishes Shinji placed the earbuds of his SDAT in his ear and slowly walked away from the grave. His eyes were downcast and his shoulders were slumped.  
  
Misato stared after him until he was lost among the other grave markers. Then she turned to look at the two men dressed in black. They had stood a few feet away throughout Shinjis' extended speech. Now they were paying close attention to their commanding officer.  
  
"Well guys, you heard the man. Take up your posts." The two men walked without speaking to a spot on either side of the black grave marker. They stood their silent vigil over that slim, precious piece of metal that meant so much to a boy that held the fate of the world on his weary shoulders.  
  
____________________  
  
Asuka stood by the grave watching as he slowly walked away. Once again she knew that he would not hear her if she called out to him. She turned and right on cue Kaoru stepped up to the grave appearing out of nowhere.  
  
"Why am I here Kaoru?" she asked for the hundredth time.  
  
"Your purpose has not yet been fulfilled." He said again. She screamed in anger and clawed at her hair. This was the same answer he gave her every time. Spoken in the same calm voice.  
  
"What the hell does that mean??!!!!!!!!" she screamed at him. He merely gazed at her with the same insufferably calm expression on his face. She swung her fist at his head, fully intent on knocking that calm expression right off his face.  
  
At least she would have but her hand passed right through his skull. She had no affect at all on the material world around her anymore. After several minutes of cursing, screaming, and more attempts to injure the light haired angel, Asuka finally calmed down.  
  
"Asuka you are here because you can't die yet. You still have a purpose on earth, that you must fulfill." Asuka took a moment to consider his words, and as she did she thought once again about that day two weeks before when they had met.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I am your guide, and I am the 17th angel." Asuka gasped and jerked her hand out of his grip. She slowly started backing away from the pale boy.  
  
"The 17th?" she asked in surprise. He nodded.  
  
"Yes. I am here to guide you through the events that will soon occur."  
  
"What events would those be?" she asked suspiciously. Kaoru smiled softly at her. With out bothering to answer her question he turned and slowly walked away from her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Now Asuka glared at him for a few moments before speaking.  
  
"You keep telling me that I have a purpose that must be fulfilled. Do you ever intend on telling me what that purpose is?" she asked. Kaoru just smiled again, and shook his head.  
  
Asuka growled at him but managed to restrain herself from attacking.  
  
"Asuka I have come here today to tell you something. You are no longer bonded to this place." Asuka blinked, and used his pause in speaking to express her confusion.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You have noticed that you have been unable to move very far from your grave. This is no longer the case. You may now go anywhere that you want." Kaoru stood and looked at her expectantly.  
  
Asuka slowly started to walk away from the grave. Six feet….. eight feet….. ten feet….. eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Asuka stopped and turned to look back at the grave and the two men standing watch over her wedding ring.  
  
Why those two men never saw Kaoru she'd never know. She turned and sprinted away from the grave, in the direction she had seen Shinji go. Soon she noticed a presence beside her. Turning her head she saw Kaoru easily keeping pace with her.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
  
"To find Shinji."  
  
"Why are you running?" She skidded to a halt.  
  
"How else am I supposed to find him?" she asked. Kaoru smiled that soft, almost sad smile that he always used with her.  
  
"You could feel him." He quickly noticed the confused expression on her face and clarified hi answer. "Close you eyes and concentrate on him. You will be transported to his side. His love for you will make it very easy for you to do."  
  
"Really?" Asuka closed her eyes and drew up a picture of Shinji in her mind. It was the image that she had last seen before jumping off of the cliffs. He was standing in his plugsuit. The woods behind him. She saw clearly the frightened, desperate look on his face. And in that instant she had seen how much he really loved her.  
  
Suddenly Asuka felt a strange sensation. It felt like her body was turning into liquid, and was being pulled somewhere by some irresistible force. When she felt normal again she opened her eyes to find that she was no longer in the cemetery.  
  
Looking around she saw that she was on one of the streets of Tokyo-3 and two feet away Shinji was sitting at a bus stop. Asuka stopped and stared at him. He looks awful. she thought. Indeed he did.  
  
He was thin, thinner then he had been when she had last seen him. His face was drawn and tired. Like he hadn't been getting any sleep. And at last she came to his eyes. Those warm blue eyes that had once gazed at her with so much love in them were no dead and glassy.  
  
He seemed oblivious to everything that was going on around him. His SDAT was in his lap the earbuds in his ears. Shoulders hunched over as if he were bearing a great weight on them.  
  
Suddenly a bar of light passed over his face. Like a reflection off of a piece of metal. He didn't even flinch or blink as the light passed right over his eyes. He seemed to be intently studying what ever was reflecting the light at him.  
  
Taking a few steps closer she realized what it was. Shinjis hand was in his lap and held in that hand was an open pocketknife. He was tilting it back and forth watching the sunlight reflect off of the blade.  
  
"Shinji. Don't do it." Shinji looked up, almost as if he had heard her. And for a moment seemed to stare directly at her. Asuka breath caught in her throat. can he see me? she thought.  
  
His dead eyes continued to gaze directly at her for the space of several heartbeats before he lowered them back to his lap. Asuka walked over to him and sat down on the bench beside him. Turning she studied him.  
  
"Shinji." She said. "Don't give up. I know you, you're stronger than this. You need to continue to pilot Shinji. Everyone is counting on you, Rei, Misato, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari. I am counting you Shinji." Asuka new that he couldn't hear her, and perhaps it was that little detail that allowed her to pour her heart out to him. Without her pride getting in the way.  
  
Shinji stood. With his thumb he carefully closed the knife and slipped it into his pocket. Then he turned to his left and started to walk away from the bus stop. Asuka sat for a few minutes, thinking about what she had seen.  
  
He looks terrible. I never thought my death would hit him so hard. I was trying to save him the agony of killing me. Maybe I should have let Rei do it. Asuka was too upset to realize what she had just thought of.  
  
"Was it what you expected Asuka?" Asuka turned her head to find Kaoru sitting on the bus stop next to her. He had his arms back supported on the back of the bench. His legs were extended in front of him, crossed at the ankles in a relaxed position.  
  
"Shut up." She growled with as much venom in her voice as she could muster. "I love him. And my death is hurting him terribly." He nodded his head to her.  
  
"Yes it is. But that is what happens when you lose a loved one. He loves you and the pain of losing you is slowly destroying him. He needs comfort Asuka. But you are the only person in this world who can ease his pain."  
  
"I know that. But I'm dead!!" she shouted. "How can I ease anything if I am dead?" Kaoru looked at her with an expression on his face that clearly said he already expected her to know the answer to that question.  
  
"You might try his dreams." He said. Asuka blinked, all the rage leaving her in an instant.  
  
"His dreams?"  
  
"Yes. In your present form you would be able to enter his dreams and speak with him. He may not believe that they are real but it could give him some semblance of peace right now."  
  
Without a word Asuka stood from the bench and began to walk in the same direction that Shinji had gone, deep in thought about what the red eyed angel had just told her. She knew where to find Shinji when she needed to. He would be back at Misatos apartment later that night.  
  
She spent many hours wandering the streets of Tokyo-3. She ignored everything around her, her intangible form allowing her the freedom not to worry about things like cars, walls, and people. She walked through them all as if they weren't there.  
  
Finally as the setting sun painted the sky a dull glowing orange she found herself on the sidewalk outside the apartment she had spent nearly a year living in. With a sigh Asuka squared her shoulders and marched into the apartment.  
  
____________________  
  
"Shinji it's time to eat!" Misato called from the kitchen. She stuck her head around the corner and looked down the darkened hallway towards his room………… silence. The door did not open and nothing was heard from the boy within.  
  
Misato sighed. She had resolved to let Shinji's grief run it's course but this was too much. He had hardly left the apartment in two weeks now. She marched down the hall way to his room and yanked open the door.  
  
"Shinji you have to come e….." Misato trailed off at the site of the empty room. where is he? she wondered. Turning slowly her eye settled on the door to Asukas room, and a growing suspicion began to build in her mind.  
  
Inside she found Shinji huddled on Asukas bed, his back to the door. He had his SDAT on and his body was shaking as he tried to stop his tears. The music was turned to full volume, drowning out the world around him in a desperate effort to escape his pain.  
  
He gave no sign that he had noticed Misato when she sat on the bed next to him. She reached out with one trembling hand and laid it on his shoulder. He tried to jerk away at her touch, a cry escaping his lips.  
  
"Asuka…" She held him tightly and in that one brief sound she heard his pain.  
  
Tears began to form in her eyes as she finally understood the depths of his tortured soul. He was blaming himself.  
  
"Forgive me Asuka," he mumbled. Misatos tears began to roll down her cheeks as she gazed upon the tortured form before her. She could see the pain. His body wracked with an unforgiving cold. His soul, twisted, and tortured as he struggled to make sense of his beloved's death.  
  
"Shinji listen to me." She said as she shut off his SDAT and pulled him up from the bed. He was limp in her arms and unresponsive. As she pulled him to a semi sitting up position his body sagged back towards the bed, head hanging limply on his neck.  
  
"Shinji there was nothing you could do." She soothed gathering him against her, holding him tightly to her chest. He continued to cry in her arms, unable in his grief to return any words.  
  
She held him closely and rocked him slowly back and forth whispering soothing words in his ear. As she continued to attempt calming the poor boy down she was unaware of a certain person nearby, watching them.  
  
____________________  
  
Asuka climbed the stairs to the apartment taking her time as she thought about what she was planning to do. And as she drew ever closer to the apartment door all the worries and fears she had had earlier returned in full force.  
  
"Should I really do this?" she asked herself. "I mean, going into his dreams. Dreams are private. Should I just intrude like that?" She looked up and found herself standing in front of the door to the Katsuragi apartment.  
  
After another moments hesitation she stepped forward, through the reinforced metal door. As soon as she entered she knew something was wrong. Misato was not in the kitchen, but there was food on the stove, slowly starting to burn.  
  
As she moved down the hallway towards the back of the apartment she could hear sobs coming from one of the bedrooms. A quick search found that it was coming from her room. Sticking her head through the door she looked inside to find Misato sitting on the edge of her bed, crying quietly while she held a trembling Shinji in her arms.  
  
Asuka felt an overwhelming urge to run to him and hold him herself, and actually took a few steps before remembering that she would just pass right through him, unable to hold him in her present form.  
  
For several long minutes Asuka stood there watching them, her heart slowly breaking inside her as she saw her love broken and defeated in a way that no angel could ever do.  
  
Finally he pulled away from Misato a little and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. She looked at him for a moment.  
  
"You okay now?" she asked. Shinji shook his head.  
  
"I don't think I'll ever be okay Misato." He said. "But I'm better now." She sighed and hugged him tightly for a moment.  
  
"Well come on. You have to eat something or you'll starve." Shinji nodded weakly and slid off the bed. Shuffling out the door with his head low. Misato just could not get over how much older the poor boy seemed after only two and a half weeks.  
  
With a sad expression on her face she followed him out the door.  
  
____________________  
  
Three hours later Shinji found himself in the throes of a nightmare, Tossing and turning fitfully on Asuka's bed he struggled with his own inner turmoil, oblivious to the ghostly form sitting next to him.  
  
Asuka watched him as he twisted and turned, crying even in his sleep. She sighed loudly as she felt tears stinging her eyes.  
  
"My poor Shinji," she murmured. "You've been hurt so much. Maybe I can help." Standing she leaned over the bed and placed her hands on his head. All her earlier doubt fled from her and she knew that this was something she had to do.  
  
Closing her eyes she sank into his mind.  
  
When she opened them again she almost wished she hadn't. Before her a scene played out in a startling familiarity. She realized that she was watching her own death from Shinji's point of view.  
  
And she was feeling his pain as he watched. She saw herself leap backwards off of the cliff, and she felt her heart break within her, hearing her own screams as she wailed over her loss. For a time she was unsure weather she was Asuka or Shinji, the pain was so complete it swept her away like a blade of grass before I high wind.  
  
She felt Shinji's heart break within his chest over and over as the scene repeated itself relentlessly, and beneath the pain, beneath the sorrow, she could feel his guilt. He was still blaming himself for her death as he had blamed himself for everything else.  
  
"Oh Shinji there was no way you could have saved me," she thought. "It was my choice to die. There was nothing you could have done."  
  
She suddenly felt him calm and she realized that within this world of Shinji's mind he had heard her thoughts and her reassuring words. Her claim that he was not at fault seemed to give him some comfort.  
  
Suddenly a sound intruded itself on the dream, and she felt herself being drawn away as Shinji slowly woke up. Suddenly she was standing by the bed again and Shinji was slowly opening his eyes.  
  
The doorbell was ringing.  
  
____________________  
  
Rei Ayanami stood outside the door of the Katsuragi residence. She had been standing there for several minutes now and was unsure of how to proceed with her plan. She had decided that Shinji was in too much pain, and she felt a need to try and comfort him.  
  
But now that she was here she had absolutely no idea of how to go about it. Finally she raised her hand to ring the doorbell. After a few minutes she heard the sounds of footsteps inside the apartment and suddenly the door slid open before her.  
  
"Ayanami?" Shinji said, startled to find the quiet girl there at this time of night.  
  
"Ikari-kun." She said. "May I come in?" Shinji was stunned into speechlessness for a moment before stuttering a response.  
  
"S…s..sure Ayanami. Come on in." He stepped back from the door, letting her slide past him and into the hallway. He turned and slid by her to lead the way into the apartment. Going into the kitchen he sat down at the table and glanced at the clock on the microwave.  
  
2:30 in the morning. Shinji groaned silently, and wondered why she was here at such an ungodly hour of the night. "Ayanami why are you here?" he asked. She was silent for a few minutes and Shinji was shocked to see her lower her gaze to the table in front of her.  
  
"I am unsure." She said, her voice the same old soft monotone. But Shinji managed to catch a slight tremor of uncertainty in her voice. That brief display of emotion was enough to catch his attention. "You are in pain Ikari-kun. I promised you I would protect you."  
  
Looking up she met his gaze with slightly watery eyes as if she were about to cry. "If I allowed you to suffer alone how could I be keeping my promise?" It was a simple enough question, but Shinji found himself hard pressed to find an answer for her.  
  
"Ayanami. Rei. Yes I am in pain. But there is really nothing you can do about it. No way you could protect me from this."  
  
"You tell her Shinji!!" Asuka yelled from the couch, even though she knew that they couldn't hear her. At her words Rei's eyes went very wide for a moment and her gaze flickered over to the couch.  
  
Asuka peered at the pale girl. Did she hear me? she thought  
  
"Ikari-kun. Let me comfort you. You are in pain and I would like to help ease it if I can." Rei said determined to see this through in any way she could. Then a thought struck her. It was from a movie she had seen. A man had been hurt, emotionally. And there had been a woman who had kissed him to help ease that pain. She figured anything was worth a try.  
  
Standing Rei walked around the table and stopped in front of Shinji. Shinji looked up at her, trying to figure out what she was doing. Then she leaned down tilted his head up with her fingers and kissed him.  
  
His eyes widened as her soft lips made contact with his in a loving kiss that almost took his breath away. His mind screamed at him that this was wrong. He loved Asuka not Rei. Yet here he was letting her kiss him, and he wanted to continue letting her.  
  
He couldn't explain it but for some reason this felt so good, all the pain just seemed to vanish for the duration of the kiss.  
  
"Get your lips off of him you stinking slut!!!!" Asuka screamed at Rei. She swung her fist and feet at the girl in an attempt to tear her away from Shinji. But all of her attacks just passed harmlessly through the girl.  
  
In the haze that was the mind of Shinji Ikari he seemed to hear Asukas voice. At the thought he jerked away from the kiss, that had slowly been turning more passionate.  
  
"Rei! You shouldn't do that." He said. "I don't love you Rei. I can't do that with you. I love Asuka." Rei tilted her head to one side in a comical gesture of thought.  
  
"But Pilot Sohryu is dead." She said.  
  
"I know she is dead. But just because she died doesn't mean I stop loving her." He said. "Rei I think you should leave." He turned his head away from her, sad eyes staring fixedly at the wall to the side.  
  
After several minutes she stood and walked to the door. Slipping on her shoes she opened the door and looked back inside.  
  
"Good bye." She said. Shinji felt a shiver run down his spine at the mimicking of the words she had said to him right before their battle with the 5th angel. Then the door slid shut, and she was gone.  
  
____________________  
  
Outside of the small apartment Rei stood for a minute before turning and walking down the hallway. Behind her Asuka appeared through the door. She followed Rei for a few minutes as she walked down the stair and out onto the street of the city.  
  
Rei walked towards her apartments for several minutes. Finally she stopped. Asuka, startled skidded to a stop as well three feet behind Rei.  
  
"Why are you following me Pilot Sohryu?" Rei asked.  
  
"Huh?" Asuka said before running around to stand in front of Rei. The girls' blood red eyes fixed squarely on Asuka. "You can see me?" she asked. There was no response from Rei but Asuka could tell that she had heard.  
  
"Why are you following me Pilot Sohryu. You have won. Shinji has no interest in me." Rei was filled with conflicting emotions. On the one hand she desperately felt that she should do something to help Shinji. But he had quite clearly said that he did not want, nor did he need the help she was offering.  
  
"Why did you do that tonight Rei?" Asuka asked. For once the girls curiosity was getting the better of her anger.  
  
"I wanted to help him." Rei said before stepping forwards through Asuka and continuing on her way.  
  
"What the hell was that all about?" Asuka said, still standing in the street. "And how could she see me. Only Kaoru can see me and that's just cause he's an…" Suddenly it dawned on her and Asuka eyes grew wide in shock, then narrowed down to angered slits.  
  
"It appears that Miss. Ayanami is more than she seems." She murmured to herself, before turning and walking back to the apartment.  
  
____________________  
  
Kaoru Nagisa stood by the grave of one Asuka Langley Sohryu. He was facing east towards the sea. Closing his blood red eyes he sent his mind out in search of a signal. For several minutes he stood there in silence. Standing as solid and unmoving as a statue. Not even the movement of his chest to signify that he was even breathing.  
  
Then his eyes opened in a piercing gaze,  
  
"Come brother. The time for the final days has begun."  
  
____________________  
  
200 miles off the coast of Japan a bright glow emanated from beneath the surface of the dark ocean. The 16th angel would soon awaken and begin its test of humanity.  
  
____________________  
  
At 7:35 the next morning Shinji was in for a rude awakening. The Angel Alarms rang out through the city, startling him so much that he fell out of bed, landing on the floor with a crash.  
  
He scrambled to his feet and into his clothes, getting dressed in record time. Running out of the door to his room he threw open Misatos door to find her still sound asleep on her futon.  
  
"Misato wake up!" he yelled in her ear. At the sound of his voice her left hand flashed out grabbing his throat while her right came up to his face, service revolver in hand. She glared at him for a minute before blinking and looking again as if she were just seeing him.  
  
"Shinji? What's going on?" she asked. Then she cocked her head to one side, listening to the alarms. "An angels attacking get out of here so I can get dressed." She pushed him out of the door and slammed it shut behind him.  
  
"Hurry up Misato!" he yelled through the door, then he grinned for the first time in weeks when he heard something heavy slam against the wall.  
  
____________________  
  
In the car on the way to headquarters Shinji looked out the passenger window at the large glowing hoop that was the 16th angel. I have a bad feeling about this. he thought.  
  
____________________  
  
Arriving at NERV the two of them parted ways, Shinji racing to the locker rooms to change while Misato ran to the command center.  
  
"Where have you been?" Ritsuko asked as she ran through the door.  
  
"Sorry. No excuse." Misato said, before turning to look at Makato. "Status report."  
  
"The angel is hovering directly above us. It appears to be motionless."  
  
"Where is Rei and Unit 00?" Misato asked.  
  
"She's already out there," Ritsuko said. Misato turned to look at the view screen. On it was a view of the 16th angel, spinning in a circle. It was not making any other movement of any kind, the double helix design of its body glowing with a yellow light.  
  
"Rei!" Misato said. "Fall back for a few minutes and just observe it. We're gonna try to get some more information on it."  
  
"No. It is coming." Came the small monotone. Suddenly the angel stopped turning and its double helix structure thickened into a solid beam of light. The now snake like angel flew forward at top speed, penetrating Unit 00's AT field like it wasn't even there and spearing into the Unit's abdomen.  
  
Unit 00 wrapped one hand around a section of the glowing angel and pressed the barrel of its gun against its body pulling the trigger from point blank range. Rei was startled to find that the bullets had no effect on the angel.  
  
"It can't penetrate the field!" Ritsuko screamed, staring up at the monitor from inside the Command Center." Maya looked at her monitors information scrolling up the screen at a frantic pace.  
  
"Sempai Bio Contamination in Unit 00!"  
  
"What?" Outside large thick veins were forming on the armor covering the Eva. Flowing up the torso, covering the body and down the legs and arms. Inside Reis own body was mirroring the symptoms. Veins spreading across her entire body, outward from her stomach.  
  
Her back arched in agony as her blood seemed to catch fire, searing through her veins, each pulse of blood bringing a new level of agony. It was the beginning of the end.  
  
____________________  
  
Asuka was standing on the command deck, watching events unfold before her eyes. Eyes wide she gazed up at the screen in shock as Unit 00 fell back under the angels' intrusion.  
  
"Mienn Gott." She breathed.  
  
"Pretty gruesome isn't it Miss. Langley?" Turning around Asuka found Kaoru standing behind her watching the screen. She blinked.  
  
"How did you get in here?" she asked. He calmly shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Easily enough." His eyes narrowed, calm demeanor dropping away. "Do you know yet why you are here? Why you can see and hear what is happening here?"  
  
"How could I know?" she screamed. "You never tell me anything."  
  
"You have one more thing to see before the time comes for your chance to return." Kaoru smiled at her in that knowing way that always made her want to strangle him, before turning and slowly walking off into a dark corner of the command center where he then vanished from sight.  
  
"What the hell am I supposed to see?" Asuka muttered under her breath. She began to aimlessly wander around the panicked command deck, ignoring the occasional person that ran through her since she was now used to the fact that she didn't have to dodge them.  
  
Looking up at the view screen Asuka got an idea. Closing her eyes she created a picture in her mind. As she had before when she found Shinji she felt her body melting and sliding away. When she felt normal she opened her eyes to find herself inside the entry plug of Unit 00.  
  
Rei was looking much worse then the Eva. Thick vein like protrusions had spread across her body, from her abdomen down her legs and across her breasts and arm. Her back was arched in pain, and small gasps escaped her frequently.  
  
Suddenly she went limp and the inside of the entry plug changed.  
  
No longer where they sitting in a tube of reinforced steel. They were in a large orange lake. Asuka gazed around her for a minute before hearing voices behind her. Spinning around in the lake she felt the weird orange water swirling around her legs.  
  
Behind her Rei Ayanami stood hip deep in the water, head bowed, hair falling over her eyes, and she was talking quietly to a form standing in front of her. Shifting her eyes Asuka gasped when she saw a SECOND Rei standing ABOVE the water.  
  
Her feet were two inches above the surface of the strange water and she was staring at the Rei before her.  
  
"Do you want to become one with me?" the Rei in the water asked.  
  
"No. I am I…. you are you." What is going on? Asuka thought.  
  
She watched as events unfolded before her and she was given an inside look into the mind of Rei Ayanami. When it was over, she would wish she had never seen it.  
  
Reality returned to the small cockpit and a few drops of water landed on Reis leg. She stared at them in surprise.  
  
"A tear? Am I the one who is crying." The intercom crackled to life and the inside of the giant machine was filled with sound.  
  
"SHINJI!!!" Misato yelled. "AT field to full save Rei."  
  
One of the launch buildings appeared out of the ground nearby and the door opened to reveal the massive purple mecha, and with the enraged boy in the pilots' seat it was the most deadly thing on the face of the planet.  
  
The air before it seemed to shimmer as if a wave of heat had been dispersed from the machines surface. The trailing end of the glowing snake like angel whipped in Unit 01's direction.  
  
There was a surround sound scream from the mouths of four people as the angel streaked towards Unit 01. One from Asuka, one from Misato, one from Shinji, and most surprisingly from Rei.  
  
The giant purple Unit dodged to the left just in time to avoid the first strike but not fast enough to save its rifle. The weapon was destroyed by the impact. Shinji screamed in frustration.  
  
"Rei!!!!. No I can't let this happen. Not again." All who heard him were at first unsure of what he meant, but soon it returned to them. The 15th angel, and the fate of Asuka Langley Sohryu.  
  
Rei turned in the pilots' seat and activated the self-destruct sequence behind her. She ignored Misato and Shinji's frantic pleas for her to deactivate the mechanism. Instead she inverted her AT field and spoke to the angel.  
  
It is not of my mind for you to become one with Ikari. I will not let you have him." Turning her head she looked directly at Asuka. "Protect him for me. Tell him… tell him I am sorry for failing in my obligation."  
  
Asuka was suddenly possessed of a calm she had never known before. She understood now. She knew what she had to do.  
  
"I will… Rei." A smile graced the pale girls' features, and she was looking with tear filled crimson eyes directly into the ice blue of the second Childs, as the world exploded into white around them. And Rei Ayanami… ceased to exist.  
  
____________________  
  
"No…" Shinji Ikari sat in shock as he watched the giant fireball of the explosion approach him. He didn't even bother to put up his AT field as the shockwave hit him. Unit 01 was thrown back for several hundred feet before slamming into the side of a mountain. It's hand came down near the edge of a shelter ripping into the foundation and crumbling one wall, exposing the twenty four men and women inside to the fires of hell rushing towards them.  
  
They were all burned to ash in an instant. Unit 01 did not fare much better, the paint job was completely gone and the metal armor covering it was blackening even going so far as to warp and bend under the intense heat.  
  
Inside the cockpit Shinji was too far gone in shock to even register the sensation of searing heat burning him alive. He merely watched the view monitors with eyes he could not force shut as he re-lived the moment of her destruction again and again.  
  
Asuka had stood in midair, as the hurricane of flames roared around her, completely unperturbed by the flames licking through her body. She gazed with sad eyes through the wall of flames at the dark form that was Unit 01.  
  
Turning she found Kaoru standing before her. She didn't even bother asking how he was standing in the air like that, she simply nodded once to him. He turned and began to walk away, she followed and the flames roared up around them, covering them completely. When they died down the two were nowhere to be seen.  
  
____________________  
  
Gendo Ikari reached under the edge of his desk and quietly depressed a button. Deep within the bowel of NERV in a room that only two other individuals had ever seen, a sequence was started, and soon a third life would arrive in the chain that was Rei Ayanami.  
  
End.  
  
Authors notes: Normally I don't do this but I have ended it here. Now some of you may be screaming: "But where is the Terrifying Revelation?" Well I say to you. CALM DOWN. Just scroll down a bit and you'll find it.  
  
*Turns away from the audience grumbling under his breath about the impatience of his audience. But he is quickly silenced as an irate member throws an N2 mine onto the stage*  
  
*Lord Deathscythe appears on the destroyed stage.* "Random! We're gonna need a new Ryan!  
  
A Tale That Wasn't Right  
  
Death and Rebirth/A Terrifying Revelation  
  
____________________  
  
Deep within the bowels of the earth, in a secret room, a pale form slowly comes into being. The beginning has ended, the end now begins.  
  
____________________  
  
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi reaches for the phone and dials in a series of numbers. After three rings the voice of Misato Katsuragi can be heard on the other end of the line.  
  
/Katsuragi speaking./  
  
"Misato. It's Ritsuko. Rei's alive."  
  
/WHAT??!!!!!!/ clatter from the other end as Misato drops the phone. /SHINJI!!/  
  
____________________  
  
Rei Ayanami stood at the window of the hospital gazing out at the white scene below. Light filtering in through the glass cast a bluish tinge to everything around her. Her arm and head were wrapped with bandages.  
  
Suddenly from far down the hall came a commotion that caught her attention. She turned her head to see a boy running towards her at speeds deemed against the law on most major highways.  
  
He seemed slightly familiar to her and she frowned as she tried to place his face and voice. Her attempts were cut short as he suddenly ran right into her, wrapping both arms around her in a tight embrace.  
  
"Rei! I'm so glad you're alive." The force of Shinji's momentum carried them both to the smooth tile floor where they landed in a tangled heap of arms and legs. Shinji now conscious of the bandages carefully extricated himself from her and helped her to her feet. He was breathing hard and his brow was covered in sweat.  
  
Tears of joy poured freely from his eyes.  
  
"I am glad I am alive as well." Shinji suddenly stopped breathing. This was not the Rei that he had spoken to a few nights before.  
  
"Rei I want to thank you," he said after a few moments of silence.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For saving my life. You destroyed unit 00 to save me."  
  
"Did I? I am afraid that I do not remember that. I think… I think that I am the third."  
  
____________________  
  
"Where am I?" Asuka asked looking around her. She was standing on what appeared to be a dark gray layer of mist. The world around her was comprised of this same material encasing her on all sides in a gray cage.  
  
"You are about to begin your journey back Miss. Sohryu." She whirled around to find Kaoru standing behind her. "Soon you will be among the living again. If you survive the process that is."  
  
Asuka suddenly felt a cold fist of fear wrap around her heart, and she gulped involuntarily. She peered at him and her eyes slowly widened in shock as he outlined what was expected of her.  
  
This was NOT good.  
  
____________________  
  
Shinji Ikari was sitting in the living room of the Katsuragi apartment when the phone rang. Misato was out. She had been working more lately in her desperate attempt to uncover the truth about NERV and its purpose.  
  
He reached over and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Shinji. You will be free from security for a few minutes. Do exactly as I say." Shinji quickly recognized the voice of Ritsuko Akagi, but he had no clue as to what it was she expected of him.  
  
Before the night was over he would wish he had never learned.  
  
____________________  
  
Deep within Central Dogma, Misato Katsuragi waits in concealment. Her patience is soon rewarded when she sees a lone figure walking towards the two large steel doors at the end of the hallway.  
  
Ritsuko slides her keycard through the security slot on the door and frowns when it refuses her passcode.  
  
"It will only open with my code." Ritsuko hears a click and feels the cold metal of a gun pressed against the back of her head. "No more secrets Ritsu. I want to know the truth right now."  
  
"Okay. But this one comes with us." Ritsuko presses a button on a remote in her pocket and a light comes on illuminating the form of Shinji standing nearby.  
  
____________________  
  
"My mother?" Shinji gasped as he sank to his knees. He looked up at Ritsuko, just in time to see her press yet another button on that little remote she carried. The black walls lit up, and he surged to his feet at what he saw.  
  
"REI!!!" Hundreds of blue haired heads turned at the sound of his voice, and he found himself the target of a thousand deep red eyes. Boring into his soul and he would forever have the next memory burned into his mind.  
  
They laughed. All of them in perfect unison laughed a soft giggle that was the laugh of a person gone mad, or one without a mind to begin with. He suddenly realized that the good doctor had been talking again.  
  
"…. The don't deserve to live." A push of a button. Shinji's scream echoed throughout the large room for a solid ten minutes.  
  
End.  
  
More Notes: Okay I KNOW that ending was a little weak but give me a break people. My creative mind has been sapped for the last several months with many other projects and a meeting coming up with some VERY famous authors, I need to prepare some original pieces for them to look at.  
  
Well now we have seen the Death and the Rebirth. The revelation is at hand, How will Shinji handle this latest blow to his sanity? He already hovers on the brink of suicide what will this do to him?  
  
What will happen to the new Rei? And WHAT is happening to Asuka?  
  
You'll just have to wait for the next installment to find out.  
  
*Lord Deathscythe comes onto the stage and stops the recording. Luckily this tape had been prepared for just such an eventuality as the death of the current Ryan. Hopefully they would have the new one finished in time for the next chapter to be written before the audience moves on to him and Random.*  
  
A Tale That Wasn't Right  
  
Death and Rebirth/A Terrifying Revelation  
  
Written by  
  
Ryan T. Nelson  
  
Until Next Time…  
  
See you on the other side. 


	4. The Final MessengerIn Flesh and Blood

Authors notes:  *Ryan II walks out onto the stage and half the members of the audience have a heart attack. Many others faint in fear. Needless to say they will miss the opening credits* Disclaimer: I do not own Eva or anything having to do with Eva except for the DVD's *The audience is still too shocked to throw anything at him*

In this chapter things are coming to a head. Kaoru, the 17th angel, and the final messenger will soon arrive. Asuka begins her struggle to return to the living and Shinji must face his own nightmare, alone.

Just a few of the emotions that will be surfacing in this chapter are, hatred, anger, despair, loss, and above all pain. Shinji is near the breaking point. Since coming to Tokyo-3 he has lost so much. Gained more, then had it ripped away from him. He has nothing left to live for.

Asuka is in for her own share of troubles in her efforts to return, but the question is, will she be successful and if so what kind of shape will she be in after her ordeal. Read on to find out.

You will no doubt notice that most of this chapter will be a recount of the anime when it comes to the interaction between Shinji and Kaoru. I WILL be adding a few things of my own, a bit of introspection… and of course we will learn some of Asukas' struggle to return to life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… 

  
A Tale That Wasn't Right:

The Final Messenger/In Flesh and Blood

____________________

            "You want me to do what?" Asuka screamed. Kaworu didn't seem to notice the insane volume her voice had risen to. He continued to stare at her with that calm penetrating gaze that drove her completely nuts.

            "You have to face your fears. All of them. More than that, you have to conquer them. You died facing one of your fears. That of suicide, that of turning out like your mother. You faced it and came up with the one conclusion possible in that situation. For that bravery, and the unusual circumstances surrounding the event you were spared the damnation that befalls anyone else who takes their own life." He walked up to her and set his hands on her shoulders forcing her to look at him.

            "Shinji is not in a good place right now. He has lost most of his will to survive. If he takes his own life he will not be given the same opportunity that you are being given. You have to do this. You must return to him to heal his wounds. I can't lie to you. It will be hard, and even when you get there he will be permanently scarred. But it is up to you now to save his life."

            Asuka turned his words over in her mind, considering them carefully. Finally she nodded her head once to him in acknowledgment. He smiled. Staking a step away from her he made a sweeping gesture with one arm as if to say, _after you._

            She stepped past him and a door appeared before her out of the nothingness. She opened it and stepped inside. He watched as she walked deeper into the space beyond that door, his view slowly being cut off as it swung shut on silent hinges.

            It closed and Kaworu was alone. He gazed at the door for a few more minutes before he turned and walked away. As he walked he could feel the call, and he knew that soon he would have to return to earth and carry out his mission. He prayed that she would make it back in time.

____________________

            The room was silent and dark. Sparsely furnished and decorated it appeared almost as if no one actually resided there. But the form on the bed proved otherwise. Shinji Ikari lay curled up in the center of his bed staring wide eyed at the opposite wall, unable to sleep, despite his fatigue, because of his dreams, dreams filled with decaying bodies and hundreds of voices lifted in insane laughter.

            The memory sends a shudder through his frail body, but he can not cry. He cried himself out several hours ago. After returning from the depths of NERV he had laid down on his bed and cried. That had been almost twenty four hours ago.

            Slowly he crawled out of bed and made his way through the dark to the door. Sliding it open he felt his way along the walls on unsteady feet to the bathroom. The harsh yellow lights hurt his eyes so he shut them off again and held onto the edge of the sink with a white knuckled grip.

            With shaking hands he reached out and turned on the cold water, putting in the stopper so the sink would fill. For several minutes the water splashing into the porcelain sink was the only sound in the small apartment.

            Finally, the water reached the edge of the sink and he shut it off. Then, he leaned over and shoved his whole head into the frigid water. The shock drove out any sense of being tired. He kept his head under water as long as he could then when his breath gave out he jerked back out of the sink.

            Cold water streamed down his bare chest and back and dripped from his hair onto the linoleum floor. Taking a step back his heel hit a wet spot on the floor and his feet flew out from under him sending him to the floor with a crash.

            He lay on the floor for several minutes his body shuddering with sobs but still the tears would not come. The sounds of footsteps in the hallway told him that his fall had woken his roommate. The door slid open and there was a quiet click, followed by light flooding the room.

            He looked up to see Misato standing in the doorway, one hand still on the light switch. She didn't look much better than he did. Her hair was a mess and the dark circles under her eyes told him that she had slept as little as he had. Which is to say not at all.

            She kneeled beside him and gathered him into her arms, holding him tightly against her. He lay, limp in her arms shivering with the cold and his grief. Slowly he raised his head to look at her and she would forever be tormented by that memory.

            She saw something she never thought she would have to see. She saw Shinji Ikari finally broken. Finally giving up. She had watched with growing pride as, despite his fear, he had risen to every challenge. 

            The third angel, then the fourth. Coming back to destroy the fifth after it had almost killed him. The sixth with Asuka then synch training for the seventh. The eighth and his daring leap into the volcano to save the girl he secretly loved.

            The ninth angel and he rose to the challenge again; he caught the tenth and saved the whole city. He was swallowed by the twelfth and even in the moment before he had passed out after breaking free she had seen an almost peaceful smile on his face. The thirteenth, one of the worst memories he will have, but still he came back for the fourteenth.

            Then the fifteenth angel. He had screamed and pleaded with his father to let him fight. But he had not been allowed to save Asuka, and she had suffered the ultimate price as the result. After everything she had watched him bravely lift his face to the next enemy. She watched him fight when that was the last thing he wanted to do. She saw the anger in him and the love that he had for his friends, and Asuka.

            Now, she saw the shattered remains of his sanity slipping away before her very eyes. Shinji Ikari was no longer the persistent fighter she knew he could be. She held him tightly and let the tears overtake her, rocking him softly back and forth.

            Finally he fell asleep in her arms and as the sun peeked over the horizon she leaned back against the wall and drifted off herself.

____________________

            On a beach of a lake that was the crater created by the destruction of Unit 00 a lone figure waits. He stands quietly by that shore without moving for several hours. He seems to be listening to something, and indeed he is.

            Heard only to him are the sobs of a broken boy, and in his heart he shares the pain and anguish felt by Shinji Ikari. Standing by that lonely shore tears begin to pour from his deep red eyes, and as the sun breaks over the horizon it highlights his gray hair and pale skin.

            "She will not make it in time to save him," he says. For several minutes more he stands there before his shoulders slump in despair and he turns his back on the beautiful sunrise, walking slowly away from the lake.

____________________

            Deep beneath the earth a woman sits in silent contemplation. All is dark save for the glowing red insignia on the wall beside her but she does not look towards it. Several strands of blond hair had fallen in front of her eyes but she makes no move to brush them aside.

            Dr. Ritsuko Akagi sat in her cell as she had for the last twelve hours. As soon as the commander had heard of her destruction of the dummy plug system he had had her arrested. Now she was trying to find out where she had gone wrong. When she had fallen in love with a cold-hearted bastard that didn't care for her at all.

            Perhaps she would never find her answer.

____________________

            As the sun set that night Shinji was out again wandering the streets. He found himself at the edge of the lake that was created when Unit 00 blew up. Earlier that day he had awoken from a fitful sleep to find himself on the floor of the bathroom.

            Rising quietly he had slipped out and to his room where he quickly dressed and then left the apartment, for once leaving his SDAT behind.

            "All my friends," he mumbled as he stood at the waters edge, "Touji, Kensuke. All their homes have been destroyed and now they've left. Friends. I don't have anybody left I can call my friend. Nobody."

Looking out across the lake it strikes him what a beautiful scene it was. The sun was setting behind the mountains to the west, and it left streaks of light on the cold water. Nearby he could see the remnants of a broken statue sticking up out of the water.

            It looked like it might once have been a statue of a human figure, but now the head was gone, and the heat of the explosion had blackened the stone. He saw the statue without really looking at it and then turned his head away to contemplate his situation.

            After a few minutes he heard an unusual sound and turned his head back towards the statue. A boy was sitting on one of the outstretched arms, humming softly.

            "A song is good."

            "Wha?"

            "Singing brings joy or revitalizes the human soul I think that song is the highest achievement of the Lillum culture. Don't you agree?" He turned to face Shinji, blood red eyes peering at him from beneath a shock of gray hair, framed by a very pale face. Much like Ayanami. "Shinji Ikari."

            "How do you know my name?" 

            "Everyone knows your name. I don't mean to sound rude but you're rather ignorant of your own position." Shinji was slightly surprised by this calm comment.

            "Oh, really? But who are you?"

            "I am Kaoru, Kaoru Nagisa. I am like you one of the selected Children, The Fifth Child." Shinji was once again floored by the calm statement while at the same time the boys voice held a lyric quality that pleased him.

            "You're the fifth Child? Um… Mr. Nagisa-" Kaoru laughed cutting him off in mid sentence.

            "Call me Kaoru Mr. Ikari." Despite his melancholy mood Shinji found himself laughing at the mirrored words.

            "Mr. Ikari? Oh no, you can call me Shinji." For the first time in what seemed a lifetime Shinji smiled as the two shared a chuckle over their words. An amicable silence descended and they watched as the sun sank lower over the horizon.

____________________

            Later that evening the three Children were at NERV for their Synch tests.

            "Take it down 0.03 more." Sub commander Fuyutski stood behind the seat of the technicians monitoring the test.

            "Yes Sir," Maya said.

            "Are these data readouts correct?" he asked. On the screen a three-way transmission was patched in giving a split screen view of all three children. While Rei and Shinji both wore expressions of grim concentration, their eyes closed mouths set in firm lines, Kaorus mouth was turned up at one corner in a small smile, and his face was peaceful, unconcerned. 

            "All of the test systems are operating correctly sir," Makato said, the light from his monitor reflected off of his glasses as he studied the information scrolling up the screen.

            "The Magi confirm that there are no data errors." Fuyutski leaned over Mayas shoulder to stare at the image of the Fifth Child.

            "It's incredible that he can synchronize so well with unit two even before we've reconfigured the core. He's amazing."

            "But- but this isn't possible," Maya stammered.

            "Nevertheless it's happened," Misato barked, speaking up for the first time during the test. "We must accept that fact and begin an investigation into why it is so." Misato glared at the screen for a few moments. Her time at NERV had made her very suspicious of convenient timing and the fifth's arrival was way TOO convenient for her taste.

____________________

            After the test Shinji found himself sitting outside of Gate 13 Exit B-16 listening to his SDAT and contemplating the unusual events of the day. Leaning back against a low wall one leg stretched out in front of him and the other drawn up to his chest, he leaned one arm on his knee while his eyes trained on a spot on the floor some four feet in front of him.

            Once again his thoughts had turned to his own pain. Touji, Kensuke, Hikari… Asuka. All of these names hurt him to think of, but none more than that of Asuka Langley Sohryu. In an almost unconscious gesture he twisted the ring on his left hand around with his right taking some comfort in the feel of the metal.

            With a hiss the large reinforced steel gate in front of him slid open to reveal Kaoru standing there once again in his school uniform. His lips were turned up in a soft smile and both of his hands were shoved into his pants pockets.

            "Where you waiting for me?" he asked as he stepped through the gateway and the large doors snapped closed behind him.

            "Huh?" Shinji's head snapped up and his eyes focused on the gray haired boy before him. "What was that?" he asked as he removed the earbuds and turned off his SDAT.

            "I was wondering if you were waiting for me," Kaoru said. "I take it by your reaction that you were not expecting to see me here."

            "Oh. Uh, no not really. I wasn't waiting for you. I was just thinking."

            "Of the Second Child?" Kaoru asked as he leaned over to bring himself mostly to eye level with Shinji.

            The Pilot of Unit-01 would have jerked back at the proximity if his back hadn't been against the wall.    "A-A-Asuka?" he stammered. "W-w-what a-about her?"

            "You were thinking of her?"

            "Why do you ask?"

            Kaoru stood and smiled down at the flustered and now slightly defensive pilot. "It is merely that I have heard you were quite in love with her, and I also heard of her unfortunate death. I was wondering if you might want to talk to someone about it?"

            Shinji turned his head to the side, looking away from the pale boy. "There's nothing to talk about," he said, his voice as cold as a glacier. "She's dead, and I'm not, and I still have one more angel to kill. Once the angels are gone, then I will mourn." He neglected to mention the fact that he had been in mourning for nearly three weeks now.

            "If you would like to talk to someone sometime, I will be glad to listen. NERV has provided a dorm room for me near the Geofront. You can come to see me anytime if you wish." With those final words he turned and walked slowly down the hallway, absently humming a tune. The Ninth symphony- An Ode to Joy.

            He didn't get very far. "W-wait," Shinji called out before he'd gone even ten steps. 

            "Yes," Kaoru said, turning to look at Shinji.

            "Um, I-I was just about to hit the showers. I find that it's a bit relaxing after the tests. W-would you care to join me?" He blushed as he realized how that sentence could be misinterpreted, but the pale skinned Fifth Child answered before he had time to stammer out the apology that instantly sprang to his lips.

            "Yes I would like that. Perhaps you can speak to me of the Second Child."

            "Yeah, m-maybe." Shinji scrambled to his feet and the two walked along the corridors towards the baths.

____________________ 

            "Where the hell am I?" Asuka muttered to herself. The vast landscape around her was silent, and dark. A prison of shadows. "Face my fears," she mimicked in a scornful tone. "If he hurts Shinji I swear to god he'll live to regret it."

            Setting her face the fiery Second Child marched onwards into the gloom and the fate that awaited her.

____________________ 

            "She sounds like a very special girl," Kaoru said as he and Shinji sat in the NERV baths. The large screen in front of them showed a cycling nature scene, accompanied by soothing music, but the volume was so low it was difficult to place.

            "She is. She's one of the most volatile people I know," Shinji went on with his tale of the Second Child, "but at the same time she's very fragile you know? She hides her feelings behind this wall of anger, and hostility, driving everyone away in an attempt to make sure no one can ever hurt her, but she just hurts herself when she does that."

            "But you got through her defenses did you not? She loved you, and that is why she took her own life."

            "Yeah I guess, but… I wish… that she was still here." The animated, almost happy expression that had been etched on the boys face during his narrative fell away to be replaced by a look of loss. "I miss her Kaoru."  
  


            "I understand Shinji," Kaoru said, moving his hand to place it over Shinji's. "But believe me when I say, that you'll see her again one day." Kaoru stood as the lights in the bath suddenly went out. "Until that day… remember Shinji that you still have people here who love you. Remember… that I love you."

____________________

            The lights in the cell came on with a sudden flash, blinding the woman who'd been sitting in absolute darkness for many hours. She sat on the metal folding chair, her back to the door, leaning forwards with her elbows on her knees. Despite the silence, she knew who was behind her without even turning to look.

            "Why did you do it?" he asked.

            "Because she didn't deserve to live. They didn't deserve to live."

            "That is not an answer Doctor, try again. Why did you destroy the Dummy Plug System?"

            "BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME," she screamed, tears beginning to pour down her face. "You only loved HER. I knew you didn't care for me, even when you made love to me, you never cared."

            "That is correct."

            "Why?"

            "That is none of your concern."

            Then he was gone. And her cell was once again cast into utter blackness.

____________________ 

            Eva Cage. Unit-02 stood silent and immobile on in the thick suspension fluid that filled the cave. On the catwalk above a young man stood gazing down at the mockery of life, the imitation of the Angel, and that glory that was god.

            "I can appreciate so much of the beauty of this lilum culture, but their perverse desire to play god, and destroy each other still baffles me. How can one species be so consistently self destructive, having destroyed billions of their own kind in countless wars over the years, and still remain the dominant species on the planet?"

            He shook his head in resignation. "I don't think I will ever learn the answer to that question, particularly since my time has now ended." He bowed his head and a single pure tear slid down his cheek to fall into the thick liquid below. "I am sorry Asuka, I wasn't able to hold on long enough. I hope, you can help him pick up the pieces when you finally arrive."

            "Come to me, shadow of Adam," he called as his body flooded with power, and he rose into the air, floating towards the massive Unit-02. The biomechanical weapon surged to life at his thought and together they descended into the depths of NERV, and as they moved ever closer to their destination an old American nursery rhyme flitted through Tabris' mind.. and he changed a name to fit the situation.

            "Shinji Ikari sat on a wall, Shinji Ikari had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Shinji's heart back together again… But maybe, Asuka can."

____________________ 

            The night would be one long remembered. Though that night no one knew of the true goings on. All they saw, was the destruction of the 17th and final angel. But in a small cemetery near the outskirts of the city, a miracle took shape.

            The sky above was black, laden with heavy storm clouds, lightning flaring fitfully in their depths. Two NERV Agents stood their silent vigil over one specific grave. So intent were they on the world in front of them that they failed to see the small point of light, floating in the air behind them.

            The shimmering dot slowly grew, and took shape. An outline of a woman stood there, a young girl with long flowing hair hanging past her shoulders, and the slender curves of a young body. The light receded, and in its place the woman stood, her eyes hollow and filled with a great sorrow as from across the city, she felt in her heart, the body of an angel being broken.

            Not knowing where she was, who she was, or why she was there she stepped forwards and knelt by the black marker. Slipping one hand around the edge she silently lifted a small circle of metal from the tombstone. And as she walked away, she slipped it onto the fourth finger of her left hand, and she smiled bitterly as she remembered.

End

More Notes: I'll make them quick this time. I just want to apologize for how long this took me, and for the delays on all of my other fics. I hope you all enjoy this one and please stay tuned I AM trying to write more and faster. I'll have these stories finished eventually. I'm not gonna just drop any of them. Thank you.

In the next chapter… shit I'm not sure what happens in the next chapter. *audience finally gets over their shock at seeing a breathing Ryan and threatens to kill him again* Oh wait I remember now. Okay, things are beginning to come to a head, and if the audience doesn't kill me again *glares at his audience* I may be able to finish it in just two more chapters. Then an epilogue of some sort.

Thank you for reading.

Please Review


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